For many survivors of complex trauma, going to the dentist can feel overwhelming, frightening, and sometimes retraumatising.
If this is how you feel, you are not alone. In the context of your experiences, it makes sense.
Aspects of dental care can mirror past trauma, including feeling vulnerable, having limited control, and experiencing physical intrusion. Because of this, your body may respond as if the trauma is happening again, even when you know you are safe.
Why visits to the dentist can feel so difficult
It is often not about the dentist itself, but what happens during the appointment.
Dental care can involve:
- Being in a vulnerable or reclining position
- Not being able to move, speak easily, or stop what is happening
- Someone being very close to your face or body
- Having objects placed in your mouth
These experiences can activate your body’s survival response (fight, flight, freeze), even when there is no actual danger.
Trauma responses you might experience
You may notice:
- Anxiety, fear, or panic
- Flashbacks or intrusive memories
- Dissociation (feeling numb, distant, or “not being present”)
- Physical reactions (such as racing heart, dizziness or nausea, shaking or sweating, difficulty breathing, feeling numb or shut down)
These responses can come on quickly and feel and be outside of your control. They are common responses to trauma.
Trauma triggers are common in dental settings
They can include:
- Sounds, smells, and physical sensations
- The dental environment, tools and equipment
- The perceived power imbalance between you and the dentist
Even if your trauma was not medical or dental, your body may still respond to similar feelings of vulnerability or lack of control.
It’s not just trauma
There are many reasons why going to the dentist can feel difficult. Cost, access to care, past experiences, and life circumstances all play a role. Many survivors also carry understandable coping strategies or feel shame about their oral health.
Avoiding the dentist – sometimes for years – is a common way of coping. This often means appointments only happen when you’re in pain or stressed.
Common experiences for survivors
You may have experienced:
- Difficulty attending or keeping appointments
- Fear, anxiety, nausea, or dissociation
- Stress-related dental issues (e.g. grinding, sensitivity)
- Poor sleep, headaches, or oral health problems
- Feelings of shame about your teeth or your reactions
What might help
Remember that you deserve to feel as safe and as in control as possible.
Before your appointment
- Ask to meet the dentist first or book a consultation without treatment
- Let the dentist know you feel anxious (you do not need to disclose your trauma)
- Ask how they support patients who feel nervous or overwhelmed
- Let the dentist know if particular sensations or experiences are difficult
- Ask if you can bring a support person if helpful
- Consider booking early in the day to reduce anticipation
- Use supports such as music, sunglasses, or grounding objects
During your appointment
- Agree on a clear stop signal
- Ask for each step to be explained beforehand – ‘no surprises’.
- Let the dentist know if particular things might trigger you
- Wear sunglasses if the bright lights bother you
- Request that the dentist checks in with you regularly and takes breaks
- Ask to adjust the physical space if possible (e.g. sit more upright, leave the door ajar)
After your appointment
- Ask for written instructions, as stress can affect memory
- Take your time before you leave if you feel unsettled
- Ask for follow-up communication if needed
- Share feedback if you feel able
Supporting yourself during treatment
- Ask for a slower pace or shorter appointments
- Focus on your breathing
- Use grounding (e.g. feet on the floor, holding an object, feeling body in chair)
- Bring a support person if helpful
If you dissociate, you may not be able to signal distress. Letting your dentist know in advance (if you feel able) can help them recognise signs such as changes in breathing, stillness, or appearing distant, and pause to check in.
What makes care feel safer
Two things make the biggest difference:
- Predictability – knowing what will happen and when
- Choice – being able to stop, pause, or change what is happening.
When these are present, your nervous system is more likely to feel safe.
You deserve care without shame
Many survivors feel embarrassed about their teeth or worry about being judged. You deserve care that is safe, respectful, and understanding.
A trauma-informed dentist will:
- Listen to your concerns
- Explain what they are doing
- Work with you to create a plan
- Support your need for control and safety
Even small adjustments, such as being listened to, having a stop signal, or taking breaks can make a real difference. With the right support, pacing, and understanding, going to the dentist can become more manageable.
Remember that you are allowed to ask the dentist to:
- Go slowly
- Meet your needs
- Stop at any time
