Menopause is time in which women may experience hot flushes, sleep changes, and mood swings – none of which is easy! But if the person has experienced complex trauma, there are established biological reasons why this transition can feel harder but there are ways to support yourself through it.
Why menopause can feel more intense after complex trauma
Our bodies hold our life experiences, including those which are traumatic. When we experience ongoing or repeated stress or threat (especially early in life), the nervous system can become more sensitive to changes.
During menopause hormone levels change and oestrogen levels, in particular, decline. This hormonal change can affect the capacity to regulate emotions, the body’s response to stress, how well we sleep and how memories and feelings are processed.
For many survivors, it can feel as though strategies that have helped them cope with complex trauma, are no longer working. They may notice that they are having stronger emotional reactions including anxiety or panic which seemingly comes from nowhere. Old feelings or memories may resurface, and they may feel overwhelmed more easily.
Physical changes
For survivors the physical symptoms of menopause such as hot flushes or a racing heart can feel frightening. This is because they may remind a survivor of the way their body felt during past trauma experiences. A body and nervous system primed for danger will naturally interpret these sensations as a threat, as it did in the past.
During menopause, sleep is often disrupted by night sweats, a need to urinate or waking more frequently. Sleep provides a time and space for our brain to process emotions and experiences. For survivors, this can mean being less able to cope with everyday stress which in turn can make them react more easily to things which might not have affected them previously.
Why old feelings can come back
Some people notice that memories, emotions, or body sensations from the past seem to return during this time as well. This can be distressing but does not mean that the person is not doing as well, even though it feels like it. Sometimes menopause changes how strongly people impacted by complex trauma (in particular) feel things, how easily they can contain things, and how aware they are of what is going on inside.
Finding a new way of being
Alongside the challenges, some people find that this time delivers a clearer sense of what matters and deeper self-understanding and self-compassion. Not everyone experiences this, and it doesn’t mean that the challenges just disappear, but the struggle and the transition can exist side-by-side.
What can help
- Gentle grounding
Simple practices can help the body feel safer – noticing the surroundings, feeling feet on the ground or holding something comforting and calming. - Slowing things down
If emotions are escalating quickly, try taking slow deep breaths and settling, and if possible, try and pause before reacting. - Rethinking body sensations
Try remembering that this is the body going through a transition rather than a signal of danger or threat. - Protecting sleep where possible
Try to keep your sleep routines simple and consistent by creating a calming time to wind-down and, if your sleep is very disrupted, think about looking for outside guidance. - Reaching out
You don’t have to do this alone. Think about reaching out to a trusted person, someone else who might be experiencing the same things or a trauma-informed therapist.
